Resolving conflicts in a relationship

After married for many years, both myself and my wife attended a marriage course in 2010 called the Alpha Marriage. We just wanted to learn more and enriched our marriage.

I still remember this analogy of a clogged drain which was used to describe unresolved conflicts and issues in a marriage.

If we do not regularly clean the drain in our home, the accumulated rubbish and debris will eventually builds up, layer by layer and finally clogs the drain.


clogged drain
Until one day, when there is a heavy downpour, the house will be flooded!


Similarly, any unresolved issues, conflicts or hurts in relationship will stay in our memory bank. As Karol K. Truman puts it in her book ” Feelings buried alive never die”. Hence all the accumulated unresolved issues will eventually bottle up. All it takes is just one more disagreement which will then lead to an explosive argument!

So folks, here is the take home message.

Learn to lower our pride and ego. Practice the art of communication and resolving our differences with love and respect. If possible, let us seek out a win-win situation. If we could not agree, then we will need to agree to disagree. Sometimes, we may need to consult an expert or a more experienced person for solutions.

The final decision should be based on love, respect, wisdom, acting in the best interest of the family and a mutual attitude of “give and take”.



how to argue quote

Courtesy of

Leave a Reply


Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: